Worst Kids’ Show Bracket: First Round

kids TV shows

If you’re a parent, you’ve watched some horrible kids’ shows. First, they make you want to jab your eyes out with the nearest crayon. Then, you notice how absolutely whiny they can make your kids after watching them.

We put up with these shows because we love our kids more than our sanity. But here is a way to maintain both. Express your disdain by voting against your least favorite kids’ show.

This is an election where we all win and no promises will be broken. Your kids can continue to enjoy their show. You can move beyond the involuntary eye twitches to show the world just how much you hate that one show.

The kids’ shows that made the 32 show bracket were weighted by how truly horrible they are, how insufferably popular they are, how shamelessly they were marketed to preschool kids, and how much irreparably damage they did to parents’ psyche and children’s development.

Here is the bracket with the four regions:

Worst Kids Show Bracket

PBS Kids may be the region of death. There are several horrible contenders there: classic evils like Barney and Teletubbies, lesser known, but fully on demented Boohbah, and the always hated Caillou.

Nick Jr has some real wretchedness there as well: absurd live action shows like Yo Gabba Gabba, Lazy Town and The Fresh Beat Band, old school shows like Dora and Spongebob, and the perpetually whiny Max & Ruby.

Disney Junior brings in some preachy shows like Sam Sandwich, annoyingly inept lead characters like Special Agent Oso, and relentless earworm theme songs to shows like Mickey Mouse Clubhouse.

The Wild Card region brings in terrible shows from the past and present that aren’t on any of the three major channels: the environmental evangelism of Captain Planet, the ruined legacy of the Super Mario Bros. Show, the bizarre madness of Bratz and more.

Vote now until Wednesday, March 9. The Sweet Sixteen (or bitter sixteen, as the case may be) will be up for voting Friday, March 11.

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Aaron Earls

Christian. Husband. Daddy. Writer. Online editor for Facts & Trends Magazine. Fan of quick wits, magical wardrobes, brave hobbits, time traveling police boxes & Blue Devils.