While I believe men have both a right and responsibility to speak about abortion, I also believe it is important to show that many women are passionately pro-life.
To counteract the false narrative that women are all in favor of abortion, I asked four women to share their pro-life stories and reasoning this week. I’m honored to feature guest posts from Kelsey Bridges, Kelly Parkison, Bekah Stoneking and Pam Earls:
Today’s post is from Pam, my wife.
by Pam Earls
Growing up, I don’t remember not being pro-life. I learned the value of life at home and church. Going into marriage, I wasn’t just a “don’t get an abortion” pro-lifer; I was against the death penalty, birth control and any needless killing when life could be preserved.
Those values were put to the test a little over a month into our marriage. We found out we were expecting our first child. I was happy, but nervous because, from the world’s perspective, this wasn’t the most opportune time to be expecting.
The Tuesday after we arrived home from our honeymoon, terrorists crashed planes into buildings in New York and Washington D.C. and, closer to home for us, crashed the economy. Soon after the attacks, Aaron was laid-off from his job at a local newspaper. I still hadn’t found a job after finishing my college courses that summer.
Here we were, no health insurance, living hours away from family in a crime-infested neighborhood, no savings, and clueless as to what it even meant to be married. In the middle of this, we found out we were pregnant.
For many, abortion would have been an easy out. But it wasn’t even an option for us. This child was given to us and we knew God was going to provide. And He did.
In November, I was offered a job with my alma mater, North Greenville University. The best part, they called me about the position and insurance started on the first day of employment.
I thought once they knew I was pregnant they wouldn’t want me, but instead, school president Jimmy Epting was very excited for our growing family. Aaron was hired part-time shortly after at NGU. God provided.
Everything seemed to be on the right track. My pregnancy was going great; the job was great and then came the ultra-sound. It showed our precious child had a spot on his brain that could indicate he was mentally or physically handicap, or both.
Frightened, we sat down in the doctor’s office. He went through our options—more potentially dangerous testing, an abortion, or just wait and see. He explained that he had to give us those options because parents could sue him if he didn’t give them the chance to abort a potentially handicapped child.
There was no hesitation, no testing, we trusted God. Our Wesley was born 10 months after our wedding date and he was perfectly healthy. There was nothing wrong. The spot had disappeared.
He is now 13, top of his class, and a kind, caring older brother to his soon to be three siblings. Think what we would have missed out on if we had chosen differently.
I think about that now, as I am pregnant with our fifth child, Caitlyn Sue, now. She is our fifth because we lost one child this past December. It is still hard to talk about; I am still dealing with the loss even as I look forward to the birth of Caitlyn. But it was real.
Last December, I was only six weeks pregnant. The miscarriage itself was physically painless. I couldn’t even see little hands or feet. Some would say I wasn’t far enough along for that child to be a human being with thoughts and feelings.
As I lay in bed weeping over my loss, I felt alone and empty. I was already having conversations with my little one. Telling them how excited I was they were joining our family. They were a life, even at 6 weeks when many women wouldn’t have even realized they were pregnant. That tiny life inside of me was loved, wanted, and had a heartbeat, thoughts.
They may have been the size of a small pea but they had eyes and ears. Sacred life God created in my womb, but He had other plans. He knew, He comforted, and He is sovereign and I know one day my little one will be waiting for me in heaven.
As I write this right now, I see Caitlyn roll across my stomach. I can absolutely tell when her little bottom goes back and forth across my enlarged belly. I feel a foot kicking me in the ribs and a head butting against my bladder.
I am in awe of how dependent she is on me, but also totally her own person. She lets me know when she is not happy with something I eat or how I am sitting or lying down. She loves and responds to a certain song I play for her.
I have felt her move for months now. Before 20 weeks, I could feel her rolling in my stomach, I really think she is going to be a gymnast she tumbles so often. How can anyone say she has no rights?
She is a female, she is unique, and she will not look exactly like her older sister. She will not act exactly like her siblings. She has her own personality and DNA that makes her a unique human being. If I had to choose between her life and mine, I would chose her.
Why am I pro-life? Because life is precious. It is given to us by our Creator. It is fleeting, and it is to be protected.
I have thought long and hard about what I would do if one of my daughters came to me one day and told me they were pregnant. No matter how that life started, no matter what circumstances my daughter is in, I would encourage her to choose life.
Whether she chooses to keep the baby and raise it herself or whether she chooses to bless someone else with the gift of a child, either way I would support life.
Abortion seems the easy way out of a tough situation when there seems no other way. But it has emotional and physical consequences. Not only on the mother, but the father and obviously the baby whose life was cut short—killed by the one who was made to protect them.
All life is precious, all life is to be protected, and all life should be given a choice. That is truly what it means to be pro-choice—to allow the life growing in the womb the opportunity to make their life choices.
Pam Earls is a stay-at-home mom to three (soon-to-be four) kids and is a former newspaper editor. You can follow her on Twitter (where she doesn’t tweet much) at @TNPearls.