A Christian Jurassic Park film where dinosaurs come to life at a creationism theme park and Kevin Sorbo saves people with his theology/fists
— matthew pierce (@ongreenmountain) June 10, 2015
This tweet made me laugh and made me curious—what kind of summer blockbusters would we have if Christians ran Hollywood?
Christian Avengers: Age of Grace
Fed up with Iron Man’s dishonesty and playboy lifestyle, Captain American turns to the two superheroes he knows he can count on when Qwerty goes rogue: BibleMan and Larry Boy.
Four friends are gifted with extraordinary powers that enable them to climb a roof, bust it open and lower their paralyzed friend down into Jesus. Yes, it sounds fairly normal, but remember extraordinary powers and stuff.
Noah races against time to save two raptors on the ark before the rain begins to fall and unleashes Rockmonstersaurus Rex.
Joy joy joy joy finds a way to get down in the heart. Where? Down in the heart. To stay.
An Austrian robot (don’t ask) is sent back in time to prevent Eve from ever listening to their serpent and eating that apple.
Pitch Perfect Too
This is basically a documentary on trying to get a D.C. Talk reunion happening. You know you would see this movie.
Mad Max: Revelation Road
In a post-apocalyptic world where all the Christians have been raptured out and the only actor who’ll take the lead role is a barely motivated Nicolas Cage, this gritty reboot of Left Behind will leave you … mad.
What other Christian summer blockbusters do you think would happen?