Phineas & Ferb’s seemingly perpetual summer is coming to an end as the show’s final episode airs tonight. Like most parents, I will miss this show … strictly for the sake of my kids. Sure, that’s it.
Either way, my two boys have grown up with those two boys and summer will certainly be missing some of the fun and carelessness that all the characters of Danville brought to the screen.
Having said that, there are numerous activities that Phineas and Ferb engaged in over their summer vacation that I’ve had to ban at our home. Those kid inventors can get quite crazy.
Here’s not quite 104 (six actually) things from the show you should not allow your kids to try at home.
6. Metal exo-skeleton — First you make a metal exo-skeleton, then you become a superhero. It seems harmless enough, but the next thing you know, you are a playboy billionaire creating artificial intelligence that wants to destroy all of humanity.
Plus, wouldn’t you have to do soldering of some kind to make a full body metal suit? If I don’t trust my kids with matches, I’m not giving them a soldering iron that will most likely end in a human-hating robot trying to take over the world.
5. Build a time machine — I’ve seen Doctor Who. I know the things that can happen when you start messing with the “space-time continuum.” You don’t want your kids breaking something at Walmart; do you really want them destroying time and space as we know it?
You get nervous anytime they start touching that bolted in TV at Target. How freaked out do you think you would be when they are hurtling through time and space, touching all kinds of breakable things?
4. Start their own aglet awareness campaign — Aglets. You know the little thing on the end of your shoelaces that lets them go through the holes on your shoes? Oh, you didn’t know that? Well, neither did I until Phineas & Ferb sang a song about them.
But, you don’t want to have to pay all the money it takes for one of these “awareness” campaigns. You’ll go broke just trying to make enough rubber bracelets and car magnets.
3. Use a transporter to visit Mars — You’ve rode in a car with your kids for a couple hours. Imagine traveling to another planet. Even though the trip is virtually instantaneous, you know they’ll fight over something.
Plus when you get to Mars, you know someone will have forgotten something. You’ll have to go all the way back to Earth to pick up some astronaut ice cream. By the time you get back somebody will have found a little green man and annoyed him into starting an interplanetary war.
2. Play a gigantic game of darts – Have you ever given your elementary aged children a pack of lawn darts and said, “Have at it”? If you have, please leave your address in the comments so I can call child protective services … I’m kidding … kind of.
But seriously, my two boys couldn’t play a game of velcro darts without hurting each other. No one is really going to say, “Sure, kid. Build a huge target and razor sharp darts to fling across an entire city. Sounds like good, safe fun.”
1. Build a roller coaster – The most classic of all Phineas and Ferb stunts, their very first one—a city sized coaster that flung them into space and around the world. But if you watch that episode closely, you realize that the boys get a lot better at building things later in the summer. That roller coaster looks crazy sketchy.
You don’t trust your kids with a skateboard and a big hill sloping toward the road. You feel like letting them build a roller coaster shakier than any half put together carnival ride and then inviting all the neighborhood kids over for a ride? I didn’t think so.
Clearly, this post is meant to be tongue in cheek, except for my actually enjoying the show. It was a really fun show that I did not mind watching with my kids. Unfortunately, summer can’t last forever.
What was your favorite episode of Phineas & Ferb? What one invention or game would you most definitely ban from your house?