Clickbait headlines are the bane of social media, so I greatly appreciated the chance to mock them with the #ClickbaitBooks hashtag on Twitter. I made Buzzfeed style headlines for The Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe, The Lord of the Rings, 1984, and Where the Wild Things Are.
I knew I had to do clickbait for the books of the Bible. There’s no better way to show the absurdity of those headlines than by pairing them with something so polar opposite—Scripture.
But I also knew I would need help. Enter Lydia and Elizabeth (or L&E), who have a hilarious YouTube vlog and participated in the #ClickbaitBooks fun themselves with Charlotte’s Web and If You Give a Mouse a Cookie among others.
So with a lot of help from Lydia and Elizabeth, here are 66 shocking clickbait headlines for the Bible you won’t believe.
Genesis: The beginning of everything: It’s not what you think!
Exodus: What this burning bush told a prince-turned-murderer shocked everyone
Leviticus: You’ll never look at lobster, bacon or polyester the same way again
Numbers: 36 tips and tricks for wandering the desert
Deuteronomy: You’ll never believe what Moses said before he died
Joshua: Is the promised land everything you dreamed it would be?
Judges: How one haircut led to one man going blind and hundreds ending up dead
1 Samuel: Voices in his bedroom woke this kid up and gave him a mission
2 Samuel: What he saw from his rooftop shook him to his core
1 Kings: This guy had 1,000 women. Here’s how badly that ended.
2 Kings: You probably didn’t see this royal mess coming
1 Chronicles: Everyone laughed at this kid until God chose him to be king
2 Chronicles: If you thought the first book was crazy, check out the sequel
Ezra: You won’t believe what they found when they finally got back home
Nehemiah: Why a building project made this guy pull out someone else’s hair
Esther: Her one night with the king changed everything for this young immigrant
Job: One man loses everything. His response will restore your faith in humanity.
Psalms: 150 amazing ancient songs. #23 will blow your mind.
Proverbs: Hundreds of lifehacks your doctor doesn’t want you to know about
Ecclesiastes: Everything is meaningless. Read how that’s actually a good thing.
Song of Songs: The surprising way to find a man and keep him
Isaiah: I walked into church and saw something spectacular
Jeremiah: He warned them it would happen. They didn’t believe him. But now they are paying the price.
Lamentations: See what brought this man to tears
Ezekiel: Watch this guy act out the words of God!
Hosea: She cheated on him. You’ll be shocked at how he responds.
Joel: Locusts plaguing you? Easy steps to redeeming the time.
Amos: Step-by-step instructions on avoiding utter demise
Obadiah: Bet you can’t find this book without Bible Drill training!
Jonah: Thrown overboard and swallowed by a whale, this man’s 7 word message changed a city
Micah: This guy predicted where the Messiah would be born … hundreds of years before! You’ll never believe where he got that information.
Nahum: Remember Ninevah? Check out what happened when one of God’s people returned.
Habakkuk: This minor prophet wrote one major book
Zephaniah: The shocking Day of the Lord: Are you ready?
Haggai: So you are challenged to rebuild a temple… Now what?
Zechariah: 14 steps to building the can’t miss temple
Malachi: Talk about a cliffhanger! They had to wait 400 years to find out what happens next.
Matthew: Don’t let the list of names fool you, this book is full of action
Mark: Three women went to a graveyard. What they found will shock you.
Luke: This doctor shares a surprising truth that may just save your life!
John: A man’s best friend dies, but lives to tell about it. What happens during his life will leave you on the edge of your pew.
Acts: If you thought being a church planter was difficult… Here’s what happened when a guy tried being the first.
Romans: How do you get to heaven? It’s not what you think.
1 Corinthians: 16 Chapters only 1st-century Corinthians would understand … #13 may sound familiar!
2 Corinthians: He survived beatings, shipwrecks, stoning, and jail. But now he’s back. And he’s got something to say.
Galatians: You’ll gasp when you see what this man thinks grace can do
Ephesians: Epic lifehacks for Christian living in a hostile world
Colossians: Their shocking belief has this man worried like never before
1 Thessalonians: Why one blast from a trumpet means you should look up. Fast.
2 Thessalonians: You won’t believe what this one evil copycat is about to do. Everyone will be fooled.
1 Timothy: The surprising list every pastor needs to read
2 Timothy: Man sends his friend a dying wish; what he says will blow you away.
Titus: Most people look right past this little-known letter, but you’ll want to read every word.
Philemon: This runaway slave came back with some shocking news
Hebrews: You won’t believe what these people did in faith!
James: What he says about your tongue will blow your mind
1 Peter: You’re using that to build your church?!? This cornerstone shocked everyone.
2 Peter: You’ll never guess how long 1,000 years really are!
1 John: See how a father reacts when siblings don’t get along. The light reveals more than they bargained for.
2 John: A warning to a mysterious woman. The ending may surprise you.
3 John: First, his name is Gaius. But that does not stop him from doing good.
Jude: They fought over a dead body. Here’s what happened next.
Revelation: Must have survival secrets for the end of the world
Which was your favorite? Do you have any more clickbait headlines for the Bible?