Leading up to tonight’s NFL draft, there have been hundreds of mock drafts. But none of them have had enough actual mocking in them. To remedy that situation, we are here with the 2015 NFL Bible Mock Draft.
If an NFL franchise could use their draft pick on anyone from the Bible, who would they pick? In planning for this extensively researched mock draft, Jonathan Howe and I labored for a significant amount of time (our lunch hour) to find the person who perfectly suits the needs of each team.
2014 NFL Bible Mock Draft
Who else would go first in a Bible draft? He’s the only one who could save this franchise.
The Titans are looking to rebuild. No one is better at taking rubble and turning into something worthwhile.
They need a spark for their franchise. Since Jesus was already taken, they choose the next best thing.
As usual, the Raiders reach for someone that no one else had in first round. But Oakland likes the potential of the former king of Judah.
Honestly, owner Daniel Synder is just trying to pick someone who’s more controversial than their nickname.
They might as well pick someone who has already failed with a big apple.
Chicago is looking for someone who can control their locker room. Elisha has experience at calling out Bears.
Given the history of the franchise, they need someone used to suffering.
The Giants know Goliath will fit in with their organization. They just hope David’s not drafted in the NFC East.
The Rams are looking for a leader. There’s no one who could shepherd a team any better.
If there’s anyone who could handle the cold Minnesota weather (and who looks like a Viking), it’s the hairy Esau. He’s the obvious pick here.
Cleveland owners felt he was used to being taken somewhere to be the sacrifice.
They need someone with as much experience as their quarterback Drew Brees.
Miami is looking for a respectable leader who’s used to escaping a bad place.
With Jim Harbaugh back in college, the Niners need someone who has at least had a vision of the promised land.
He knows all about turning a bull into gold.
San Diego thought the Sons of Thunder would be a natural fit with the Bolts. (I’m sorry.)
Because he was the chief of Israel. He was their leader. Get it? Get it? Sigh.
If there’s a franchise that needs someone who is used to weeping, it’s Cleveland.
Chip Kelly believes Saul could work perfectly in his offense. If not, he’ll just trade the former king of Israel for Marcus Mariota.
The Bengals take the prophet with the experience of having no one love him. He’ll need that in Cincinnati.
Since he stole his brothers birthright, Jacob is already a Steeler at heart. (And with the 22nd pick, head shaking pun is off the board.)
He’s already spent 40 years wandering in the desert getting nowhere, so he knows what it’s like to play in Arizona.
The Panthers are still looking for someone to give their offense a lift. Gideon can do a lot with a little.
He’s used to being around ravens. They fed him in the wilderness.
Since Tony Romo said the Cowboys would win the Super Bowl this season, they need another false prophet on the team.
He was stoned. That’s apparently a thing now in Colorado. Thank you. I’ll be here all week. Try the veal.
This franchise knows what its like to be taken from your home in the blink of an eye. Plus, Joseph has proven he can be very elusive.
The Packers organization was looking for someone who was already used to killing the Lions.
They need a gate keeper in the Big Easy.
He might be the only person more popular with the ladies than Tom Brady.
Two teams without first round picks
With the harsh weather, only a missionary would go there. Paul makes perfect sense.
He slipped out of the first round due to his slow 40 time. 40 day and 40 nights just won’t cut in today’s NFL.
How do you think your team did in the 2015 NFL Bible Mock Draft? Did they get the right person or should they have went to another book of the Bible for their pick?