2015 NFL Bible Draft

NFL Bible Mock Draft

photo credit: Marianne O’Leary via photopin cc

Leading up to tonight’s NFL draft, there have been hundreds of mock drafts. But none of them have had enough actual mocking in them. To remedy that situation, we are here with the 2015 NFL Bible Mock Draft.

If an NFL franchise could use their draft pick on anyone from the Bible, who would they pick? In planning for this extensively researched mock draft, Jonathan Howe and I labored for a significant amount of time (our lunch hour) to find the person who perfectly suits the needs of each team.

2014 NFL Bible Mock Draft

NFL_Buccaneers1. Tampa Bay Buccaneers – Jesus

Who else would go first in a Bible draft? He’s the only one who could save this franchise.

NFL_Titans2. Tennessee Titans – Nehemiah

The Titans are looking to rebuild. No one is better at taking rubble and turning into something worthwhile.

jaguar helmet3. Jacksonville Jaguars – Tim Tebow

They need a spark for their franchise. Since Jesus was already taken, they choose the next best thing.

Raiders helmet4. Oakland Raiders – Amaziah

As usual, the Raiders reach for someone that no one else had in first round. But Oakland likes the potential of the former king of Judah.

NFL_Redskins5. Washington Redskins – Judas

Honestly, owner Daniel Synder is just trying to pick someone who’s more controversial than their nickname.

NFL_Jets6. New York Jets – Adam

They might as well pick someone who has already failed with a big apple.

NFL_Bears7. Chicago Bears – Elisha

Chicago is looking for someone who can control their locker room. Elisha has experience at calling out Bears.

NFL_Falcons8. Atlanta Falcons – Job

Given the history of the franchise, they need someone used to suffering.

NFL_Giants9. New York Giants – Goliath

The Giants know Goliath will fit in with their organization. They just hope David’s not drafted in the NFC East.

Rams helmet10. St. Louis Rams – David

The Rams are looking for a leader. There’s no one who could shepherd a team any better.

Vikings_0611. Minnesota Vikings – Esau

If there’s anyone who could handle the cold Minnesota weather (and who looks like a Viking), it’s the hairy Esau. He’s the obvious pick here.

browns helmet12. Cleveland Browns – Isaac

Cleveland owners felt he was used to being taken somewhere to be the sacrifice.

NFL_Saints13. New Orleans Saints – Methuselah

They need someone with as much experience as their quarterback Drew Brees.

NFL_Dolphins14. Miami Dolphins – Lot

Miami is looking for a respectable leader who’s used to escaping a bad place.

NFL_Niners15. San Francisco 49ers – Abraham

With Jim Harbaugh back in college, the Niners need someone who has at least had a vision of the promised land.

Texans helmet16. Houston Texans – Aaron

He knows all about turning a bull into gold.

NFL_Chargers17. San Diego Chargers – James and John

San Diego thought the Sons of Thunder would be a natural fit with the Bolts. (I’m sorry.)

NFL_Chiefs18. Kansas City Chiefs – Moses

Because he was the chief of Israel. He was their leader. Get it? Get it? Sigh.

browns helmet19. Cleveland Browns – Jeremiah

If there’s a franchise that needs someone who is used to weeping, it’s Cleveland.

NFL_Eagles20. Philadelphia Eagles – Saul

Chip Kelly believes Saul could work perfectly in his offense. If not, he’ll just trade the former king of Israel for Marcus Mariota.

NFL_Bengals21. Cincinnati Bengals – Hosea

The Bengals take the prophet with the experience of having no one love him. He’ll need that in Cincinnati.

NFL_Steelers22. Pittsburgh Steelers – Jacob

Since he stole his brothers birthright, Jacob is already a Steeler at heart. (And with the 22nd pick, head shaking pun is off the board.)

NFL_Lions23. Detroit Lions – Daniel

Duh.

Cardinals_0524. Arizona Cardinals – Joshua

He’s already spent 40 years wandering in the desert getting nowhere, so he knows what it’s like to play in Arizona.

NFL_Panthers25. Carolina Panthers – Gideon

The Panthers are still looking for someone to give their offense a lift. Gideon can do a lot with a little.

NFL_Ravens26. Baltimore Ravens – Elijah

He’s used to being around ravens. They fed him in the wilderness.

NFL_Cowboys27. Dallas Cowboys – Balaam

Since Tony Romo said the Cowboys would win the Super Bowl this season, they need another false prophet on the team.

NFL_Broncos28. Denver Broncos – Stephen

He was stoned. That’s apparently a thing now in Colorado. Thank you. I’ll be here all week. Try the veal.

NFL_Colts29. Indianapolis Colts – Joseph

This franchise knows what its like to be taken from your home in the blink of an eye. Plus, Joseph has proven he can be very elusive.

NFL_Packers30. Green Bay Packers – Samson

The Packers organization was looking for someone who was already used to killing the Lions.

NFL_Saints31. New Orleans Saints – Peter

They need a gate keeper in the Big Easy.

NFL_Patriots32. New England Patriots – Solomon

He might be the only person more popular with the ladies than Tom Brady.

Two teams without first round picks

NFL_BillsBuffalo Bills – Paul

With the harsh weather, only a missionary would go there. Paul makes perfect sense.

NFL_SeahawksSeattle Seahawks – Noah

He slipped out of the first round due to his slow 40 time. 40 day and 40 nights just won’t cut in today’s NFL.


How do you think your team did in the 2015 NFL Bible Mock Draft? Did they get the right person or should they have went to another book of the Bible for their pick?

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About Author

Aaron Earls

Christian. Husband. Daddy. Writer. Online editor for Facts & Trends Magazine. Fan of quick wits, magical wardrobes, brave hobbits, time traveling police boxes & Blue Devils.