Despite protestations from longtime fans, it seems likely the Washington Redskins will change their name. The trademark ruling may be the last straw that forces Daniel Synder’s hand.
Here are some of the suggestions (some genuine and some not so much) that have been thrown out there by others.
To help out the team and the NFL, Jonathan Howe and I want to offer our name suggestions with a handy slogan for each.
Were you to choose one of our nicknames, we ask only for lifetime diplomatic immunity, no federal income tax and the ability to insert language into bills as we see fit. Those requests shouldn’t be a problem, right?
We are here to serve you, soon-to-be nameless football franchise. Which of these top 10 Redskins replacement nicknames do you like the best?
- Washington Monuments – We’ll stand here and let you stare at us.
- Washington Draconian Legislations – Who knows what it means, but it sounds evil, right?
- Washington Bullets – For some reason, no one is using this perfectly fine, non-controversial name any more.
- D.C. Metros – We will take you where you don’t want to go and you’ll hate the trip.
- Washington Ray Guns – Just like the country, we were better in the 1980s when the Gipper ran things.
- Washington Generals – We have to win sometime. Right? Right?!? Please.
- Washington Bills – Buffalo’s not really using the name. Besides, now we can use “I’m Just a Bill” as our fight song.
- Washington Deadlock – Whether it’s traffic or Congress, D.C. knows how to shut things down.
- Washington D.C. Comics – We have about as much chance of success as another Green Lantern movie.
- Washington NSAs – Don’t challenge us. We’re always listening. No, seriously, we are.
What are your serious and not-so-serious suggestions for Redskin replacements?