Top 10 Wardrobe Door Top 5’s of 2011

Yesterday, I posted the 10 most read Wardrobe Door posts of 2011 with the notable exception of any explicitly funny posts. Today brings back all your favorite top 5’s and other various humor posts from this past year, though I’m not sure any of these are “explicitly funny” either (I need the bar set low).

It was a bit of an evolution (I promise I don’t mean that in the bad way. Please, don’t boycott me.) to arrive at posting a top 5 virtually every Friday. I can’t help but write things that I think are funny, comments that make me laugh. So last year, I decided to shoot for writing one comedy post a week and call it WAAH, my Weekly Attempt At Humor. That didn’t last long, if for no other reason, WAAH is a stupid name.

I was hit or miss with humor posts at the beginning of this year. There were some good ones, which turn up on this top 10 lists, but I couldn’t keep it going consistently. Finally around July, it stuck and I found that top 5’s were the best way to have a regular humor post. Why top 5’s? I’m not funny enough or brief enough for a top 10. Those would end up being long pieces of writing with a joke or two mixed in. We already have those things – they’re called books.

As it ended up, most Fridays you can now find a humor top 5 here, except today, of course. Today, you find the 10 most read Wardrobe Door humor posts of 2011.

Photo from by esteban

Bonus posts (because I’m in generous mood): These weren’t part of the top 10, but they did elicit a some fun social media conversations. Two of my humor photoshop posts: Christian Conversation Hearts and Reformation Day Posters.

10. Top 5 Bible Tales not allowed in Children’s Story Books – What a better place to start off the top 10, than pondering why children’s Bibles don’t have assassinations, human sacrifices and man eating bears. These are five Bible stories that you read through and think, “Did I really just read that? Did that left-handed guy really just stab the fat king until his guts spilled out? Did that stay-at-home mom really ram a tent peg through that army general’s head?” Yep and there’s plenty more where that came from.

9. Top 5 Bad Sermon Ideas – Pastors have a hard job. Sometimes communicating the message of Scripture to the congregation comes easily and the sermon is magnificent. Other times … well at other times … it’s just not. Some ideas sound great in your head, but for whatever reason they just don’t quite come out right in the end. Jesus as a rapper. Old youth pastors wearing skinny jeans with a fauxhawk. Good times. Bad sermons. Oh, and this post has what has to be my favorite photo caption I’ve ever written. It’s worth the cost by itself, which of course isn’t saying very much, but it is funny.

8. Top 5 Christian Tattoos – What Would Justin Beiber Do? – I’m honestly shocked this one was higher on the list. I thought for sure adding Justin Beiber to the headline was traffic gold. Come on, teenager girls. Are you no longer Googling Justin Beiber? Have you already moved on to other insignificant, scarcely talented tween boys? I cannot keep up with all your fashion and trend changes. But at least the post was funny and spot on – if you have gotten a tattoo since becoming a Christianity, it will be on this list.

7. Top 5 Christian Halloween Costumes – If I got all the Christian tattoos right, I nailed the Christian Halloween costumes. At the church Halloween party (which is what you call it if you want to be honest), there are essentially five and only five costumes. Because part of the 10 Commandments says that if a church has a party near October 31, they must ban costumes that are vampires, monsters and such. Plus, you don’t want people showing up in *ahem* inappropriate costumes. So, you just say only Bible character costumes. These are what you get and will get. Every. Single. Year.

6. Top 5 Christian Facebook Apps – Facebook has become ubiquitous, reaching almost 1 billion users in less than 8 years, making it a cultural phenomenon that just needs to have some Christian paint slapped on it. Who needs to go the hard route of developing real, actual friendships with people and living a life for Christ online and off? No, what you need are some “love” buttons on your social media sites, a virtual farm to grow cyber fruit of the Spirit and a way to side hug your fellow Christians online.

5. Top 5 Christian Reality TV Shows – Here we go again. Popular in mainstream culture? Make a version of it for the Christian subculture. But if we are going to do it, let’s do it right! None of this fake Christian reality TV shows. Let’s cut to the good stuff. They should just put a live feed video from a Baptist business meeting. That sucker would go viral faster than the monks and the priests fighting at the Church of the Nativity. If we are going real … let’s go real.

4. Top 5: Is that Jesus on my Walmart receipt? – This had to be my favorite top 5 because this had to be the absolute weirdest, most stereotypical story ever. A couple from SC claim to have seen Jesus’ face on their Walmart receipt. With that in mind, I came up with some of my own Jesus appearances news stories. The only problem? Truth is always stranger and, in this case, funnier than fiction.

3. Bible Names That Should Not be Baby Names – A top 5 before I started calling them top 5, several people said this was their favorite of the year. One of these days, it’s going to happen. Somehow, somebody with one of these names is going to find me. Maybe we meet by pure coincidence. Maybe they go all Mission Impossible and hunt me down to enact revenge. But at some point it’s going to go down. And when it does I’ll be ready … to delete this post like it never happened, so read it before it’s too late.

2. Top 5 Gift-Exchange Gifts Everybody Brings But Nobody Wants – I feel certain I ruined hundreds of people’s Christmases with this post. First, people ready the list and thought to themselves, “But I thought everyone loved the Snuggie I brought to the last 5 Christmas parties.” Second, somebody was googling “Gift-exchange gifts” and found this post and thought to themselves, “Well, if that’s what everyone brings, I might as well go grab a sausage and cracker platter, too.” You know someone was trying to find a last minute gift idea and used this top 5 for evil, evil purposes. For those impacted, I’m sorry.

1. Def Comedy Bible Jam – This being my most read humor post of the year is a bit surprising. I suppose part of it has to do with it being the second humor post in 2011 (Baby names was the first). Part of the traffic might also have to do with this most likely being the only blog post on the internet to reference the Bible, Charlton Heston and Ric Flair. In fact, shockingly enough, this post is the top Google result for searching all of those together. After looking at the other results that came up, however, and thinking through it for a moment, I’m fairly certain that few if any every actually searched for those three things at the same time. So, scratch that last explanation. We’ll just leave this as the great unsolved mystery of 2011.


These posts always generated the most interaction with you the reader, whether it was here on the blog or on social media sites, which made these posts special. I enjoy writing humor. I hope I pull it off enough times to justify doing it repeatedly. But I really enjoy talking with you about your thoughts on the topic, sharing funny stories you have related to the post.

While I make the content for The Wardrobe Door, you make it come alive, by stepping through the door and striking up a conversation about bad gift-exchange gifts or crazy things you’ve seen on Facebook. That’s what makes this really fun. So as long as you agree to keep coming back, I’ll agree to keep opening The Wardrobe Door.

Happy New Year!

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About Author

Aaron Earls

Christian. Husband. Daddy. Writer. Online editor for Facts & Trends Magazine. Fan of quick wits, magical wardrobes, brave hobbits, time traveling police boxes & Blue Devils.