Oh the quotes

I have always had an interest in quotes, especially seeing how I got my degree in journalism. A quote can be used to distort and twist the actual meaning of the one behind the words or it can be used to condense the essence of a much larger body of text to a more concise, manageable sound bite.

With that, I give you two quotes that don’t really live up to that verbose and high-sounding introduction but which made me laugh my head off for different reasons.

They call their volunteers “Elevators.” I’m afraid some of us are stuck on the first floor.

– My pastor after reading about Elevation church and what Steven Furtick calls his volunteers. The unfortunately reality behind that humorous statement is that he is right. Not just in our church, but in too many churches, the laity (and the staff) are stuck on the first floor – either unable or unwilling to put the necessary work in to move people to deeper levels of their faith. You know, actually making disciples.

He’s says she’s a good, Christian girl and she doesn’t even know how to make gravy?!?

– My grandmother shocked at hearing the phone conversation our pastor’s wife had with a troubled guy that ventured through our church at one point. He described his new girlfriend as a “good, Christian girl.” Then asked our pastor’s wife for the recipe for homemade gravy.

I’m not sure what was funnier, the fact that my grandmother somehow assumes that the ability to make gravy is a requirement for salvation or hearing her say that and then having our pastor’s wife say, “Well he called the wrong place because I just know how to make it using the packets from the store.” I don’t really know if my grandmother caught the irony and the juxtaposition of the two statements. She probably didn’t hear what our pastor’s wife said anyway, since she can’t hear but refuses to get a hearing aid.

I told my friend who was driving the church van, “I can’t wait until I get old and can say whatever I want and face no real repercussions for it.” Of course, I’m kidding…slightly.

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About Author

Aaron Earls

Christian. Husband. Daddy. Writer. Online editor for Facts & Trends Magazine. Fan of quick wits, magical wardrobes, brave hobbits, time traveling police boxes & Blue Devils.