Wesley (my oldest) is getting baptized this Sunday (I’m getting licensed to preach), so we were going over what baptism means and what it doesn’t mean right before bedtime. We started talking about his salvation.
Me: Baptism’s not the same thing as asking Jesus in your heart. Baptism just lets everybody know that you asked Jesus to come into your heart. We do it because Jesus did it and He asks us to do it too.
Wesley: I think Jesus likes living in my heart. It’s a good home for Him.
Me: (choking back tears) It’s a GREAT home for Him.
Of course, 30 minutes later I had to go into his and Jeremiah’s room to quiet them down for the fourth time that night. Jeremiah said Wesley had a book in his bed. I told him Wesley didn’t because I had taken those out. But just to make sure I asked Wesley is he had a book. His response was, “No, I don’t have a book.”
I moved toward him just to check and he blurted out, “Don’t look under my pillow.” Obviously, I found a book under there and I had to punish him for lying to me (not for having the book, but for lying about it). We talked about that being a sin and asking for forgiveness.
I thought, “We just had this great talk about Jesus living in his heart and in just a few minutes, he’s lying to my face.” Of course, God convicted me of my own tendency to do that with Him.
I’ll have a great spiritual moment, either going somewhere or having God speak to me through prayer or His word, and the next thing you know I’m caught up in sin again. I’m doing something I shouldn’t be doing. My thought life drifts into impurity. I’m not doing exactly what God says exactly when he says it (delayed obedience is total disobedience, timing matters).
It just reminded me that Wesley is a new creation in Christ and he is still growing and learning. He is going to make mistakes, but I’ll never stop loving him or forgiving him. I’m a new creation in Christ and I’m still growing and still learning. I’m going to make mistakes but He’ll never stop loving me or forgiving me.
If you have a moment this weekend, pray that I am able to keep my emotions at least partly under control. I’m a crier, especially over spiritual things, and just thinking about my son being baptized tears me up. Not to mention my licensing and basically a “good-bye service” at my church with all my family (and my wife’s family) there. I’m going to lose it. I just hope I can keep it below the uncontrollable heaving. That would be good.