As a trained journalist, I’m always curious about the “who, what, when, where and why” questions. I’m an answer seeker, constantly delving for more information. Those questions are almost always fairly upfront, with perhaps the exception of the “why.” Sometimes motives are not always clear.
In spite of that, or maybe because of it, I’m often drawn more toward the “how” question. It requires more knowledge and information than the others. I seeks to pull back the curtain and investigate what goes on behind the stage.
I love watching a magic show on TV, but I’d rather see a show about how magic tricks are done. I don’t just want to watch a movie, I want to get the DVD and go through the special features: deleted scenes, making-of features, commentaries, and anything else you can cram on the disc to detail the “how” of the film.
This desire and drive is a two-edged sword when it comes to my relationship with God. On many occasions it drives me to dig through scriptures to find something. It causes me to want to know God more on a daily basis. However, I’m not sure if these positives outweigh the negative.
When God reveals part of His perfect will to me, I want to know how exactly He is going to accomplish it. I want Him to give me a behind-the-scenes, DVD extras explanation of the next step. Of course, more often than not, God’s not going to do that. I have to learn to trust Him without knowing all the “how.”
One of the reasons, I enjoy The Chronicles of Narnia so much is that God speaks to me through Aslan. We read part of a “Lucy book” (as my two boys call them) every night. Many nights I have cried while reading of Aslan’s love and care or been convicted as Aslan corrected one of the children.
Of all the children, Lucy has the most interaction with Aslan. She, like myself, is often the most curious and the who often ask Aslan questions that the others will not or could not ask. When Lucy asks the “how” question, as she often does, Aslan responds, “That is not for you to know Daughter of Eve.” On numerous occasions, I hear God speaking to me, “That is not for you to know Child of Mine.”
I have to believe I am improving in this area. While I must confess that I still ask God how He is going to accomplish the next to impossible task of moving us to Wake Forest for seminary, I haven’t stopped moving toward Him and His plan. For now, I think that is pleasing to God. He knows I’m curious. He knows I love to “know” things. But I think He sees that I’m being faithful in my actions and trusting Him with the destination even though I may ask Him constantly about the path.
Like Aslan, the tone of His response is geared toward my attitude and my need. Sometimes it is more comforting, while other times it is more convicting. I remind myself that in a few months I will know how He accomplished it because I will have lived it. So in one sense, God always answers my “how” question. It’s just that the most common way I get that knowledge is by living it. Maybe that’s the best way.